Transformers: The Game- The Typical Movie 2 Game Experience

Let me start off by saying this:
Don't play this game if you love the transformers:


Play this game:



Transformers the game is a rushed game tie-in to the spectacular summer blockbuster. What makes it even more pathetic is that the Atari Transformers game released a few years prior on previous gen systems, played better, looked better, and was 10x more fun despite it being based on the new Armada tv shows versus the old classic material. Go try the old Transformers game out, it's a nice gem and a great value since you can probably get it on ebay for $10-20.

Let's keep this review short and stick to the points:

The ability to play as nearly every character from the movie is cool

Playing as decepticons is nice

Gameplay is repetitive and absolutely rushed: Each level is an open sandbox world a la GTA except all you can do in it is smash stuff, collect cubes, and play stupid side fetch games. The openness of the worlds is just not fleshed out, which leads to all the main missions (which take place in the sandbox levels) all the more boring and tedious.

Guns are pointless in this game- nearly every robot has a shield so you just end up running up and punching them

The driving physics are laughable, you can literally make a tight 90 degree turn on nitro by tapping the handbrake.

Collision detection/physics are just a mess- as a car you can get stuck floating on debris or behind junk as you blasting boost to plow through.

Cutscenes are unpolished- the actors from the film look nothing like their screen conterparts.

Smoke and fire particle effects could have been done on PSone.

It's really not fun to bash a game, but there hasn't been a rushed movie game tie-in this bad since Enter the Matrix. It's a shame too, because I loved the movie and the original TV show and enjoyed a game I played 3-4 years ago A LOT more. It was more impressive graphically and gameplay wise too which is ridiculous given that it was 3-4 YEARS AGO! Thank god, I only rented this game. Avoid this one at all costs.

Verdict: 25%

Frogger Xbox Live Arcade Mini Review

So Xbox had this promotion and I received 2 predetermined Xbox Live Arcade games free: Joust and Frogger. While I appreciate the free games, they were not all that good or entertaining. So to not waste time and words on them, we're just going to do 2 mini reviews on them...quick paragraph and a verdict...that's it.

Frogger Review:


While any game for free is pretty much great and worth it, the very notion that Microsoft would charge for Frogger is ridiculous. The game is the exact same game from way back when except it has Achievements and Xbox Live scoring/internet connectivity...whoop-dee-do! The development team merely ported this decades old game over to Xbox Arcade and added some achievements in...and a new menu. Graphics are the same blocky sprites they were back then. And the gameplay, which was addictive and fun twenty years ago, is bland and repetitive now. Wasn't there a new Frogger game somewhere along the way with updated graphics for Playstation or something? This game needs more features, some updated graphics, and variations in its gameplay. The classic game is nice to have but isn't worth more than a dollar up against other original Live arcade games like Outpost Kaloki, Small Arms, etc. Frogger makes other Live Arcade Games look good! if not great! Avoid this one. Frogger just isn't as great as I remembered.

Verdict: 35%

The Warriors PC Game Review (also for Mobile Devices)

Warriors is basically a portable RPG battle- not a full blown RPG- but rather a turn-based fighting tournament. The gameplay consists of creating a 4-man party and then fighting other parties of paladins, ninjas, warriors, and the like. Each character takes a turn and has a limited selection of abilities or things to do (typically somewhere between 1-3 actions). If your warriors triumph, you move onto the next team to battle in the tournament ladder. The game is awful as a PC title, and is definitely better suited for a mobile device (though it goes from 4 on 4 to 3 on 3), but is still a straight forward and somewhat repetitive experience.

Gameplay: 5/10
Pros: The gameplay definitely recaptures the old RPG turn-based battles of classic 8/16-bit RPGs (this is NOT ChronoTrigger or Secret of Mana mechanics people!). Gamesplay is straight-forward with easy to play mechanics.
Cons: There’s a reason people hated the random battles from RPGs of Yore! Selecting attack and then the bad guy to attack gets repetitive and boring!

Graphics: 4/10
Pros: Graphics probably work on mobile device well. There are animations. Classes look different
Cons: Graphics may look good and suit the mobile device, but are all boxy, too small, and lack detail on a PC. The backgrounds are drab, and the animations of the characters are minimal. Just not up to par compared to other games.

Sound/Music: 4/10
Pros: Sufficient for a mobile game…
Cons:…but lacking for a PC title.

Lasting Appeal: 5/10
Pros: There are a lot of different classes of characters and different difficulties. There’s also online rankings and some unlockables that could keep you playing.
Cons: If you are a gamer, you’ve played tons of games with a menu driven battle system before, the only difference is that those games were full-fledged RPGs with a story and maps to explore, plus you also leveled up and got the spectacle of powerful magical fireworks. This game is just the battle-system and an archaic one at that.

Average: 45.00%
Tilt: +/-: 0.00%

This game’s problem isn’t so much a result of poor execution, but instead a poor concept. It is probably salvageable and decent as a mobile game, but is just not worth $10 for the PC when games like Gibbage cost about $10 as well. Even if you loved the old turn based battles from those classic RPGs a decade ago, this game still might not be executed in a way that you would enjoy. All in all, I’m not a fan of Warriors.

Verdict: 45%

Ancient Empires Lux PC Game Review

Let me start off by saying that my opinions, preferences, and actual playing time with this game are all going to interfere with reviewing this game impartially. Such factors are as follows:

1. I am not a PC gamer. I have never played a MMORPG (except Phantasy Star on Dreamcast), I had an RTS phase with Dune 2, Starcraft and Total Annihilation, but I believe Starcraft was the last "commercial" CD-ROM I purchased for the PC.
2. Strategy Games are not my thing in general- love Advance Wars, FF tactics, Fire Emblem, and the best of all: Dragon Force (if you know that title you get a gold star)- but I can't stand games like Civilization etc.
3. I am a gameplay snob. I don't like games that have simple/casual controls. I like games that require gaming skill and timing (SFII, MKII, Halo, MGS, Megaman, GOW, etc.). Deep gameplay is a must for me.
4. I simply didn't want to play this game any longer than I needed to in order to check everything out because of my preferences above. Obviously, this affects my ability to review things like "Lasting Appeal" impartially.

So please keep all of the above in mind as you read my comments below.

Gameplay: 2/10
Pros: Game is very easy to play and has a streamlined interface where you simply click on the territory you want to attack, click on an army to buff it up, etc. Gameplay is very similar to the classic game of Risk...VERY Similar though I think LUX Deluxe is a better choice, so if that's your thing this is definitely for you. It's cool playing through history.
Cons: There is a lot of clicking!! There is no excuse that after I capture a territory I have to click to move each army to the new territory. I had no idea if I was losing or winning a battle...I just amassed a large army and clicked on the other army repeatedly until I destroyed them and captured the territory...then I clicked the territory repeatedly to beef up my army...are you seeing why maybe this game is just not for me? The gameplay was literally a chore for me.

Graphics: 6/10
Pros: When I first booted up the game, I was immediately taken aback by the menus and presentation...very impressive. The gameplay maps are clean and easy to understand.
Cons: When I booted up the map and clicked on another army I expected to load up a sort of battle whether real time strategy/action or whatever...while this is a testament to the presentation and menus...it is also a huge disappointment when you realize that's it as far as graphics go.

Sound/Music: 4/10
Pros: The battlesounds fit the theme
Cons: You'll get really tired of the clanging of swords and other sounds that occur when you attack a territory over and over. I don't remember any music whatsoever.

Lasting Appeal: 3/10
Pros: The game has a total of 58 ancient nations for you to control including: Ancient Egypt, India, China, Greece, Rome, and more. Several unique maps.
Cons: After playing 2 campaigns, I was just done with the game...that can't be positive, but perhaps as mentioned above it was a result of my preferences. I am clearly not in this niche market.

Average: 37.5%
Tilt: +/- 0.00%

So to wrap up my most biased review ever...this game is not for me for many reasons. It's just not my cup of tea, but I'm sure there is some niche of strategists out there that this game is better suited for. I'm just not one of them. If you love Risk and other Strategy games you can download the demo , or purchase the game, or simply check out Sillysoft.net and their other strategy games.

Verdict: 37.5%

Fizzball PC Game Review

This game is much harder to review than Prof. Fizzwizzle. It maintains all of the stellar presentation aspects and has exceptional production qualities, but is even more focused towards younger and more casual gamers. Fizzball is a Break-out / Arkanoid clone with an element of Katarmi Damacy thrown in. Like Prof. Fizzwizzle there is an exceptional Kids mode and a multitude of levels, the problem lies in the stale rehashed gameplay. On the one hand, it's the most advanced breakout game I've ever played, but on the other hand, it's a breakout game. This game almost needs two different reviews: One for very casual gamers and kids under 10 and another for more avid and mature gamers. For the casual gamers, the young, or anybody who is not tired of another bat & ball game, Fizzball offers a fantastic game with excellent graphics, presentation, and a plethora of features and other bells and whistles. For the more avid gamer, this game warrants a demo download to check out the unique interface, power-ups, and graphics, but after a couple levels of the demo, most gamers won't think twice about playing this game again....simply because they've played dozens like it already. In my book, the best Arkanoid game of all time is still tired, dull, and just not enough to hold my interest.

Gameplay: 4/10
Pros: Tons of power-ups, levels, and features. The Katarmi Damacy aspect of growing the fizzball by swallowing up small objects and moving up towards larger ones is neat and novel.
Cons: The Grubby Games' artistic design and sleek interface cannot overcome a stale and overused bat and ball gameplay mechanic. This is a case of exceptional programmers just brainstorming a game from the outset that would not have compelling gameplay. Game is in the WAY TOO casual department.

Graphics: 9/10
Pros: Exceptional presentation, animations, and consistent feel and look from Prof. Fizzwizzle. All the graphics have real depth and give the game a cartoony 3D feel. Just looking at the title screen impresses.
Cons: Stages and Level graphics get repetitive.

Sound/Music: 8/10
Pros: Catchy and fun music returns from Professor Fizzwizzle
Cons: Animal sounds are blasé

Lasting Appeal: 2/10
Pros: There are a ton of levels to play and the game is fully featured
Cons: After playing the first 5-10 levels, the unique features of this breakout clone wear off.

Average: 57.50%
Tilt: -7.50%

I really wanted Fizzball to be better. It oozes quality, has a sleek presentation, and is very endearing. But underneath all the features, beautiful, colorful animations, and catchy music is a game I have played for years. I remember Atari Pong, owned the big lumbering 1989 gameboy, grew up on the NES, SNES, and Genesis and have played breakout games for over a decade. Grubby Games is an exceptional duo, but for me, this type of gameplay is the bottom of the barrel. So for Avid and Long-Time Gamers:

Verdict: 50%

On the upside, if you have a child under the age of 10 or if you are a casual gamer and have no idea what Arkanoid or an Atari is then you will probably love this game. It is very endearing and is one of the best Breakout games I have ever played. It is an excellent game for the more casual / younger market. Maybe that was Grubby Games intention all along, to focus on the casual gamer.

Verdict for kids/casual gamers: 75%

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